So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
