ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
