you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Never underestimate the power of titties
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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