you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
