he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
