if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
