mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
