I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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