We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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