was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
