i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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