I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize