she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
