you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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