I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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