So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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