Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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