pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
