I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
