Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Text me some of your sweat
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
