I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
