Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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