You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
