Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
