I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
