my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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