that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
