so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
