the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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