you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
sarcasm needs its own font
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
