I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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