my sisters under your porch take her home
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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