dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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