some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
