dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
