Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
