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i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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