when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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