The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
