I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
