I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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