I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
