Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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