D3 body, D1 cock
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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