This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
