I feel like I'm in dance class right now
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
