I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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