sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize