I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
