now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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