Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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