well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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