You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
