she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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