Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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