Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize