i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize