yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
