One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
