Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
