So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
