Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
