she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
