I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
