I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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